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MAINTAINING JOY IN UNEMPLOYMENT

By Rob Severson on July 29, 2010

 

I was unhappy, bored and wasting time so I drank a lot.  Too much, and I figured out that I didn’t want to waste the things I have learned and the time I had left by medicating so quit drinking.  I had issues so sought a Christian therapist who got me through them and I was on my way to turning my life around.  She talked me into gong to treatment and eventually AA and that is where some real learning began. 

What surprised me most was that most of the discussions around AA dealt with serenity and the things that happen that destroy it.  Some we bring upon ourselves, some not, but they are there and steal our inner peace.

I was actually surprised that treatment predominantly dealt with theses issues rather than what I assumed would happen; some kind of classes about alcohol, drugs etc.  They were there, but not as large as the theme of having joy in our lives.

The 12 steps include one about incorporating all these principles into all of the aspects of our lives.  I am a big believer in that; I wrote a memoir for my family dealing with how to do just that.  I have concluded that serenity is the biggest thing we all want, and it includes faith, healthy relationships and a purpose.

Now we have huge numbers of unemployed people in the country, and most of them are not happy.  How could they be?  We all need money to survive, we need the self esteem of making a living as independently as we can, and we need to have something productive to do; a purpose.  They are not alcoholics, but have a similar problem: serenity.  So, how do your find joy in this situation?

It’s easy for me to say.  I have stuff to do and make enough money to provide for me and my wife.  But, I have a few suggestions that an unemployed person may consider to maintain as much joy in their lives as they can under the circumstances.  Joy and a positive attitude may also help in a job search.

Other’s centered living:   Focusing only on one’s self can lead to pity parties, frustration, self worth deterioration, depression and other maladies.  Try this:

  • Help someone else find a job
  • Volunteer somewhere where the people are more unfortunate than you; you may realize you don’t have it so bad and will feel good helping someone
  • Help someone better off than you, sounds crazy but you may have something they need
  • Encourage everyone around you

 

Relationships:  AA steps show how to make amends and forgive others who have harmed you.  Carrying guilt and anger hurts you more than the other person.  Try this:

  • Forgive the folks who fired you.  Really.  Start praying for them, many say that the hate will go away in weeks.  It will improve your attitude and interviews
  • Take this time to make amends to people you have wronged.  Seek them out and ask for forgiveness
  • Take this time to forgive others too, it is just baggage for you
  • Most of God’s laws deal with relationships, take some time with Him and clear your plate there too

 

Ask for help:  This is one of the first tenants of AA, admitting we cannot do this on our own.  It takes a long time for some alcoholics to get to this point.  For those who have been successful in their jobs, but lost them, it can be almost as hard to ask for help.  Many are willing to help, so try it.  And see if you can help them too.

The AA folks guard their serenity as though their lives depend upon it; in many cases it does.  They have learned the importance of this, I think we all should.

I am not naive enough to believe that this will solve anyone’s problems, but it is a start.  I hope that some people who know more than I will comment on this page for other’s benefits.  Thank you

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CAPITALISM, A BAD THING?

By Rob Severson on July 18, 2010

My blog is titled “I’ve been thinking” and that is what this writing is, just some thoughts.  There are smarter people than me, I am just a country boy trying to survive in this world and help others along the way.  So take it for what it is worth, any comments are welcome.

Some say capitalism is based totally on greed and that it has failed.  In light of the Wall Street fiascos that may seem correct.  I have read a lot of stuff promoting socialism or other redistribution of wealth schemes that are put forth to cure the evils of capitalism.  I admit that I am not an economist, do not understand Wall Street very well, and am not wealthy, but like many, I have my opinions.  At age 63 my main concern is that my grandchildren have as much opportunity and freedom as I did to make a living, experience success, and maybe even experience failure and the challenge of starting over.   I also want them to have the joy and self esteem of providing for themselves and their families and trusting in God as their higher power, not government.  I also recognize that some people cannot take care of themselves and that we need to help them survive. 

I have been thinking about this a lot.  I am open to other ideas and welcome any questions or comments on my thoughts.

Capitalism may be greed driven to some, that is obvious.  Some want wealth more than anything in the world.  Some gain their wealth honestly, some dishonestly, that has been true for the history of the world.   I actually like the idea that i could be wealthy although it probably won’t happen to me!  But there are other motivations too.

To some it is the reward for innovation that makes all our lives better.  That list is endless, from television to communication systems to automobiles etc etc etc.    some of the motivation for these inventions was curiosity, some to prove they could do it, and some to build wealth.  Regardless of the reason, we are better off for these things in spite of the wealth others built by inventing them.

Now I hear that these big businesses have control over us because of their wealth and their products that we need, in addition to credit that we think we need in order to buy these products.  I think they only have the power that we let them have by our inability to control our own spending and greed for these things.  We have a choice to buy what we want and to buy it where we want.  We are free to say yes or no to the plethora of advertisements that plague us or even the predatory loan phone calls we receive,   I contend that we don’t say no because we do not understand our priorities as being ultimate peace and happiness, instead of instant gratification.

Millions of people depend upon these large corporations success as we have IRA’s, pensions, or other long term savings that contain stocks in these companies.  I want them to succeed.  I also believe that many of these corporations pay out way too much to their executives, but am not jealous because I know what the cost is to some of them who have climbed the corporate ladder.  I was on it myself and saw people who missed out on a lot  of life because of their addiction to work.  If they get wealthy while providing me with a growing nest egg for my retirement I have little complaint about it.

I do feel for the employees who get “handled” by these corporations, but also believe they (we, I have been there) can or should do more to manage our own careers which are our businesses.

Many say that the wealthy have all the power under capitalism.  Again, that may be true.  I kind of understand the people that want wealth for what it can buy and how your lifestyle can be upgraded exponentially, although I do not agree with using money that way.  I respect most the people who give back to charities, churches and other organizations that help others.

The people who just seem to want the power that money brings scare me.  If people want money just for the power, what is their goal?  I am suspicious of that.  Many advocate putting the government in control of redistributing folks’ earnings to the whole population.  That may sound good, but I don’t like the idea of someone else deciding who should get what, and how much is enough for anyone.  Will the receivers of the unearned money ever get enough to buy the things that the earners provide and also purchase for themselves?  The government currently has plenty of power, taxation, laws, even moral decrees that feel like attempts to manage our lives.  Where does it end?  Where will it end if we are dependent upon them?

Big corporations are accused of exploiting the customer, but the customers have a choice.  We have little choices with government edicts such as taxes or laws that force us to comply with.    I fear big government as much more than big corporations.  The oil spill, Katrina and illegal aliens are just a few examples of how big bureaucracy has gone amok.  Do we really want it bigger?  What will happen with health care?

I think the answer to our problem is education and values.  We need to understand debt, not just how it works, but what it does for us and to us.  I grew up in a small town where we had layaway plans at stores; folks would come in with $20 once a month to buy a $60 item in three months; I doubt if anyone under 50 recalls this idea.  Now we charge the $60 today and gripe about the interest and the unmanageable balance on our credit cards.  In my town work was viewed as a normal, good thing.  I don’t recall folks griping about their jobs, they were happy to have them and understood how their paychecks supported them.  Illegal aliens wouldn’t have had many opportunities there.  They weren’t as concerned about what they were doing as how well they were doing it for their employer.  If something cost too much they didn’t buy it.  Most lived in modest or rented homes.  You can’t exploit someone if they don’t participate.  I learned a lot there, but admittedly didn’t use all I learned over my life.  Now I am trying to teach these concepts to my family in hopes that they live happy lives.  They don’t need a nanny, they need to learn to be creative, have a servant’s attitude about work, keep abreast of the employment markets, and manage their money.  Sounds simple but it isn’t, there is more too it.  That is where practical education comes in. 

We can’t control the stock market, the economy or much else, but we can control a lot and if we trust our real Higher power we can make it and pursue happiness.

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Get out and talk with people! Relationships are the key to opportunity!

By Rob Severson on July 15, 2010

I was surprised again today by the power of networking and meeting people.

I had two appointments at a coffee shop, one with a guy I have known for years and the other with a guy who was referred to me by a recent friend.

The guy I had known has been out of work for a while and he and I had talked about a year ago about opportunities for him.  He asked to meet again today and of course I said I would.  What was unusual about it was that he was bringing an opportunity to me!  I had assumed he wanted some help again and was certainly happy to give it, but I was surprised to hear that he had something for me. 

The second guy I met was referred by a “street person” who I had met at New Hope Center, a treatment facility that takes people off the street in addition to others.  I have spent a little time with him mentoring him and trying to help him with some life issues.  He told me he had a friend who was starting a business and needed money and asked if I would be willing to talk with him.  I told him yes as I would always do, but deep down suspected this would be a crazy situation.  It wasn’t!  the guy I met had years of business experience, a worthy business plan, and experience with people I had worked with in the past.  He was for real!

So, what did I learn?  First, networking with people seeking jobs sometimes seems a waste of our time, but the opportunity that came to me by my earlier willingness to talk with him could offset all of the networking meetings i have had.  Second, I learned that contacts can come from anyone, even a “street” guy!  My intention of reaching out to help someone in need may result in a business opportunity for me.  The guy I met was also surprised that I was for real given the source of the referral.  He had also reached out to the New Hope guy in an effort to help too.  I don’t know if I can do anything for fee for him, but he is a very real prospect and he indicated that I was a very for-real source for him too.  He and I were both glad we trusted our “unusual” friend and made contact.

Last, I talked with a woman refilling my coffee in the coffee shop and learned that she has a public speaking business in addition to her part time coffee shop job.  We exchanged cards and I checked out her web site; she is a great contact for me in seeking speaking opportunities.  I hope I can help her too as she wants to get a book published and I have learned some of the ins and outs on that.  I also learned that she works at the coffee shop part time in order to get health insurance through them, and it is very inexpensive.  I was impressed, she knows how to make a living!

It pays to get out and talk with people and find out about them; you never know where an opportunity will come from or you will learn something.

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BANK OVERDRAFT FEES????????

By Rob Severson on July 9, 2010

Maybe we really do need a nanny!

The banking overdraft fee laws are really interesting to me for several reasons.

First, the idea that banks are wrong to charge customers for the privilege of borrowing money without asking is a puzzling one.  That is what overdrafts are; borrowing money without asking for permission.  I admit some bias because I worked for a bank for a while.  One of my daily tasks was to call customers who were overdrawn to rectify the situation, either with a quick cash deposit or bouncing the check if I didn’t think it would be covered.   Most of the time we honored the checks because we talked with the customer and trusted they would cover it.  We only returned checks if we thought they would not be covered.  Overdraft fees were charged to the customers to support the extra work with their account (my time for example) plus as an accommodation fee for their “demanded” borrowing.  Most customers understood that that were in the wrong and sharpened their accounting to avoid future overdrafts and costs.  The ones who didn’t  eventually had their accounts closed by the bank.

Some would call these fees punitive and that may be accurate.  A better term would be “tuition” for learning how to manage one’s cash.  I have had a few overdrafts in my life and caught on very quickly when I paid that tuition and am better off for the education.  In my case, I admit to faulty record keeping!

Now we have a law that banks cannot charge overdraft fees unless the customer opts in to the concept of paying overdraft fees.  This is kind of like paying a fee for getting a loan without asking the lender which I think many will eventually do in spite of the fees.  If they don’t, there will be consequences.

Picture a person eating in a restaurant and planning to pay the bill with a debit card.  If they have not opted in, when they present their card and there is no cash in their account they have a problem.  The restaurant may inherit the problem.  That is just one of many things that can and will happen with this new law.

Sure, it is very pricy to pay a $35 overdraft charge for a $2.00 cup of coffee at the coffee shop.  I understand that.  It is more expensive to pay with a check that bounces and the coffee shop also charges $20 for the check too, but that is what may happen.

We can criticize banks all we want, but deep down inside I think we would all agree that it is our job to keep track of our money.  I think we would also agree that we would never want anyone to borrow money from us without asking.  Now we have a law to protect us from our own stupidity or errors and many think this is a good thing.  Wouldn’t it be better if we learned how to keep track of our money?

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Nostalgia! My high school English teacher

By Rob Severson on June 15, 2010

Her name was Rena Ingersoll.  She was the librarian and senior English teacher in my high school; all seniors took her class.

I can’t remember how big she was, it didn’t make any difference.  She was tough!  She had a shrill voice that would pierce the building when she was angry. I saw and heard  her chew out some very big, “tough” guys, take them by the ear to the principal’s office, and then left them feeling so low they could sit on a tissue paper and dangle their feet!  The principal had no more chewing to do.  If she chewed out someone next to us, that was close enough and we learned to behave ourselves just to avoid her.  I was notorious for being disruptive, but even I controlled my self when I was in her class or her library.  I would like to say I respected her which I did, but admittedly there was some fear involved also.

In her class she taught us to read classic literature as well as write about it and write creatively on other things.  Most of us didn’t care too much about Shakespeare or the other guys, but I think we were all awed by her love for literature and writing and how she made it come alive.

She was a taskmaster and motivated us all to do our best, whatever that would be.  When we did poorly we heard about it by notes on the papers we submitted, or comments on tests that we did poorly in.  But when we did something good she also praised our efforts and success.

One of my prouder moments in high school was when she read an essay I had written for an assignment in satire.  She really enjoyed mine so read it to the whole class while leading the laughter from what I wrote.  Coming from her that was a great compliment as well as what she wrote on my paper: “Robbie, you like to write don’t you?  Keep writing”  With that I was motivated to do more.  I would bet that others in my class were also encouraged by her when they did something well too, that was her way and it meant a lot coming from a real critic.

Then I went to college.  My writing wasn’t well received there.  I know why, it was because I didn’t read the books that I was supposed to write about.  I didn’t have time to read, too much cards to play and horsing around to do.  I almost failed English, my writing was severely criticized and I decided not to write ever again unless I had to.

After college in one of my accounting jobs I was one of the guys who proofread audit reports before they were sent to the clients, a boring and mundane job that we did only when there were no other things we could do for billable time.  One day my supervisor approached me and told me that the partners wanted me to proofread all the reports when I was in the office.  I asked him why I was being punished and he said it was not punishment, I was the only one getting the reports right.  So, I did remember some stuff I learned from Ingersoll!  One of the typists even asked me if I was an English major!!

Then on to banking where I wrote a lot of memos for various purposes.  Very often, I was complimented on my writing skills and the clarity of my expression of the situation in the memo.  I began to get confidence again.

Last year I wrote and published a book.  It was a big adventure for me and I learned a lot about it in the process and since it was my story, I had no need to prove my statements!  Many readers from my home town sent me comments about the book and many recalled Ingersoll’s class and how much they learned from her. Many commented: “Ingersoll would be so proud of you!  I think she would have been proud, even with the imperfections in it!  She should have been, she was my inspiration to write.  She is no longer with us, but if she had seen my book I would bet she would have written me a note saying: “Robbie you still like to write, keep it up!”

Now my class of 1965 is gathering for our 45 year class reunion and exchanging emails anticipating the event.  It is interesting that Ingersoll’s name has come up the most frequently in messages; some expressing the fear they had, but mostly the respect they had for her.

I hope every student in high school has a teacher like her some day.   One who is tough, but encouraging; one who loves her venue and shows it; and one who the students will know she really cares about them.

 Bless her memory

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Another internet talk radio interview!

By Rob Severson on May 22, 2010

Jeff Peltier is a guy I met via Linkedin.  He invited me to be a guest on his show this week to share my faith and to talk about my book.  Jeff is a very interesting man with a great consulting business in addition to his radio show.

Check it out here, you may fast forward on some if you like.

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Wells Fargo mortgage solution??

By Rob Severson on May 19, 2010

A baffling Mortgage loan situation

Today a business client told me this story about his mortgage loan.  I will make up some numbers to illustrate the situation.

He has a mortgage of $200,000 on a home that is valued at $175,000.  His payments are current with on the mortgage.  He wants to sell the home in order to move to a different location closer to schools and work.  He has the house on the market but will not get enough to payoff the mortgage so he contacted Wells Fargo who holds the mortgage.

They told him he has two options, either pay off the mortgage in full or do a short sale and they will take a discount for the $25,000.  He really wants to pay off the whole liability but cannot come up with the shortfall so asked if he could sign a note for the difference and pay it off over time which he can do given his income.  He was told they would not do that so I called WFC myself and got confirmation of that. 

My concern is that of a shareholder of WFC.  I have been in corporate finance for many years but have not been involved in personal loans much at all.  It appears to me that if WFC is going to accept a short payment they will charge of the shortfall and forget it.  They told me they would not take any notes from anyone for the shortfall because if the customer filed bankruptcy they would not get the money.  My argument was, what difference does it make?  Would you rather charge off the difference than take a chance on a recovery over time?  The latter makes a lot of sense to me as the best solution to this problem.  WFC has a lot of these problems, why wouldn’t they just charge off the shortfall, take a note for it and when any payments come in simply apply them to their reserves?  Isn’t this a no brainer?

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YOUR JOB ATTITUDE, AM I CRAZY?

By Rob Severson on May 16, 2010

I think a lot.  Sometimes I come up with good ideas, other times they fail me, but I keep on and write about some of them.

Lately I have been interested in the pursuit of happiness as allowed in the Declaration of Independence.  I really like that concept and also believe that it is a pursuit, not an endpoint.  So I conclude that we need to work at it.

Lately I have read about many people being dissatisfied with their jobs.  It seems rather strange to me given the high unemployment rate that we have in the country as well as the notion that so many are unhappy.  I have been happy in almost every job I have had, except one.  I was laid off in my first job for lack of business and was picked to go in the second round for lack of skills!  I eventually got a job in banking, a field that I never had any interest in at all, but I had a young family to support so gladly took it.  I was determined to never get laid off again so changed my attitude from “what can my employer teach me?” to what can I do for my employer that will make the bank more successful.  I think that attitude is the basis for the ensuing success I have had since then.

So, if you don’t like your job or employer I have some concepts for you to consider in evaluating your position.   I am not picking on anyone with these questions, I just have come to believe that some of the problem is our own attitudes.

Here are some things you may wish to consider. 

Maybe:

  • Your job isn’t about your self fulfillment
  • It is about serving someone else
  • It is about serving your customer
  • It isn’t your employer’s job to keep you happy
  • It is about making a living
  • There are jobs out there that will provide you means to make a living if you don’t just focus on what you want to do
  • You just don’t like the idea of work
  • One of the millions of out of work people out there would love to trade places with you
  • Your boss isn’t the jerk you think
  • You would be happier if someone took care of you

 

As I said, please don’t take any offense to any of these ideas.  They are intended to just make you think.

Maybe you would like your job more if you approached it differently?

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HERE IS A STORY OF HOW ONE WOMAN SURVIVED AND MADE A DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD!

By Rob Severson on May 15, 2010

Now don’t exit right away, I am not going to preach!  But I do want to share an interesting story about survival and careers from the Bible.  I believe it is true and that God orchestrated it, but will tell the story in secular terms just because it is fascinating.  And, you may find that the Bible does have some lessons for us.

Genesis recounts the story of Jochebed, who was Moses mom.  Jochebed was a Hebrew woman who had a child named Moses.  At the time of his birth the Hebrews were enslaved to the Egyptians and were very abused by them.  Because the Hebrews were multiplying the Pharaoh became concerned about an insurrection by the Hebrews, so he ordered that the first born sons be killed by throwing them in to the Nile River.  Many were killed in this process, but Jochebed hid Moses and concentrated on finding a way to let him survive, rather than be another victim.  She put him into a basket and sent him down a stream to where some Egyptian women were bathing and would discover him.  They did and instantly fell in love with the baby and kept him for their own.  They realized that they needed to nurse him and Moses sister, who had been watching them., came forward and volunteered her mother to take care of the baby.  They took her in and Jochebed nursed her own child for them. 

Moses was raised as a privileged Egyptian and in a worldly sense had it made.  One day he discovered his true heritage and began defending his people who were being beaten and treated poorly by the Egyptians, and was forced to flee Egypt for his personal insurrection.  In a few years he returned to Egypt commissioned by God to lead his people out of captivity which he successfully did.  There is much more to this account in Exodus that is equally fascinating.

But, we can learn quite a bit about just this snippet from the Bible.  Even in just a secular sense.

Jochebed was a survivor!  While her friends were probably wallowing in pain and tears about losing their babies Jochebed was keen on Moses’ survival and came up with a creative plan to make it happen.  She had knowledge of women and their love for babies so let the Egyptian women “discover” Moses and fall in love with him.  She knew Moses would require nursing so sent her daughter to volunteer her nursing services to them for Moses care.  I don’t know if she was paid, but probably got some food for her service so in actuality got a job out of taking care of her own child!  How creative is that?  Focusing a personal survival solution saved her child rather than focusing on her victim situation which certainly was justifiable.

One last brief lesson from this would be why did God appoint Moses to lead the Hebrews out of Egypt?  Or, if you don’t believe this, then I ask how did he prepare for doing this?

He had no experience as a leader and had only recently discovered his heritage.  He had been on the wrong side of the issue for a long time and would have to earn his trust from the Hebrews.  He did it by proving his intent through his actions in the process of negotiating with Pharaoh.

His biggest asset for the job was his heritage.  He may have been the only Hebrew  who could walk into the palace and get an audience with Pharaoh.  He probably had relationships with many people in the palace who allowed him to come in and get to see Pharaoh directly.  He used his contacts well and achieved his mission by getting in the door.

Survival lessons from this story:

  • Don’t wallow in self pity, be creative and find a solution
  • Jochebed was unselfish and gave up her son so he may have a chance to live
  • Sometimes it is up to us to personally assure our survival
  • It pays to understand people; like Jochebed did when sending Moses to baby loving women
  • Rather than give up, take a thought our risk and try it
  • Use your contacts like Moses did in his mission
  • Moses used his assets to help other people, not himself and became successful by being others’ centered

 Survival may be very different in today’s complex world, but I think the fundamentals are the same.  We need to learn them and apply them!

Don’t think you can do it?  Maybe you need God too!

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My blog talk radio interview with with Felice Gerwitz, author and book coach

By Rob Severson on May 10, 2010

I just completed a 1 hour interview with Felice Gerwitz, Media Angels, on her blog talk radio program.  I had never done something like this before but it was a great experience for me.  If you like, check it out here:

Continue reading “My blog talk radio interview with with Felice Gerwitz, author and book coach”

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